Do you know what??…. It sucks being a bloke.
Out of all the possible combinations of gender and sexuality, the hetero fellah is surely the worst. We get the short end of the stick on everything.
Hot or Not.
For example, like Kate said in her blog here, girls are hot. Period. Girls are the reason that sex exists. We, as blokes lust after them, and as a result, the human race keeps reproducing and reproducing. If girls weren’t hot, then no one would feel the animal urge to fuck those gorgeous curves and lines something cronic.
Ok, so now we have the reason why girls are at the top of the sex food chain. All with me so far? Good…
So we come to the male. The bloke is an ugly form. Lets face it. We are an awkward shape with a rather “added on” appendage stuck on the front, as if it had been completely forgotten about, and was quickly applied as an afterthough, just as you would a peice of plasticene. Not very elegant, and certainly not attractive.
Score so far? Because they are hot… 1-0 to the girls.
Now I don’t even need to state this argument, its an age old example of foul play. We loose out here too. The female orgasm is something that us fellas just cant get our head fully around. Its like trying to imagine a number like a billion billion billion…Not possible. ..akin to getting your mind to understand the question “if we are in the universe., what is the universe in?”
To watch a girl shamelessly orgasm over and over again is a combination of pleasure and pain for the bloke. One part of the male brain remains in complete awe of the sight hes witnessing… being pleased that he is able to be turned on by the worlds most delightful sight. On the other hand he is cursing the fact that it is never. ever going to be possible to experience the feeling that has just totally consumed her body and allowed her to escape to another plane of reality.
Not only that, but she can do it again and again and again…. I know of lasses who have done this for an entire day and needed to sleep for the day after. Admitedly, there is a small upside, in that we can have the pleasure of being the giver of such an experience. Although it is more often than not, that she can do it just as well herself.
Score 2-0 to the girls.
Ok, so the title of this section is almost rhetorical, so it is kinda obvious who is going to win this, but let me divulge the reasoning behind it.
A bloke has to be “blokey”. Fact. Unless you are batting for the others side, (which is perfectly fine) there is absolutely no tolerance, or even the slightest desire to see a fellah in a sexual way. As previously stated, blokes are ugly. Unless you are gay, then the thought of another bloke is enough to be turned off for a week. Now thats fine with me.
However, the boundaries for lasses is much more of a grey area. A girl can be absolutely straight, but still appreciate how sexy another girl is; even be turned on by them.Its quite acceptable, for two girl mates to get each other off, to see each other naked, to appreciate each others bodies while still staying firmly behind the “i am straight” line. If anyone has any doubt about this, i strongly recommend that you go and see the awesome sights to be had at ifeelmyself.com. Proof if ever were needed that girls get the best deal out of sex.
So, not only are the fairer of the species hot, they can appreciate each other being hot. Therefore they can lust after twice as many people. All of a sudden, the need for the male in the modern society is getting rather tenuous. Another victory for the girls.
To make it even worse, taking the above example, lesbians get the best deal of them all.
- They are girls, therefore (very likely) to be hot
- As girls, they have the worlds best orgasms as they can come like a steam train and do it over and over again.
- Not only that, but they know exactly how to do it properly! :-)
- They get to see the wonderment of the female orgasm, perform it on her loved one, and then experience the exact same thing for themselves
Life is very very unfair :-|